DERBY pain.

o god o god o god o god o god.....

they just announced that we are scrimmaging on Sunday.

see... several things...

i like falling drills and blocking drills and.. not really the part with the skating around the track.

i had a terrible practice yesterday. my ankles had been better- with only my arches hurting. last night i was back to the good ol' complete ankle and top of foot cramp. i cannot tell you how much this hurts. it makes my legs shake and my balance is gone. for get any speed [and i have none to begin with] forget trying to do the drill properly.
at the very end of practice last night- after i had been lagging behind everyone the whole time, we had a 1 min. sprint skate.

i had the best fucking 4 or 5 laps of my life. my legs didn't hurt, my feet didn't hurt, my lungs didn't hurt. i picked up speed, did some cross overs, didn't freak on the corners.

W. T. F.

i was excited. and fucking pissed.

i try to start practice with a positive head. i says "i'm going to go out there, and those crossovers are so yesterday. no big deal. do em like you grew up on skates."
and then... well.... yeah, sometimes i get my foot all the way around. but not usually. and it takes all my focus.

so when we scrimmage, we are supposed to be looking around, talking, blocking, making holes, doing whips- etc.
i'm trying to just skate with the group and stay low. that's it.

i keep telling my self to just not worry about it. to just enjoy it. laugh at my self. know i'll get better as i go.
i try. but its hard to do when you are the worst in the group. and i mean by far. i'm that kid that makes everyone else feel good about their skills, because at least they are better than me.

Here is my standing ovation to anyone who can do crossovers and not take them selves, or 3 other people out while doing them.