Thursday, November 02, 2006

disapointment

ever feel like every move in life you make is the wrong one? i dont mean big things.. becuse those are obvious, and usually in hind sight, which means they were fine to begin w/, but not after a chain of events. more the small ones. the ones that seam to be pointed out constantly, by eaither your self or other people.
its easy to dismiss as, everyone makes mistakes. but some times it seams like everything is a mistake.
whats really bad is then i feel like things that cant be helped are in that catagory as well. all those things you mess up wheather you can help it or not. for example, i know i just used the wrng version of weather, but really have no idea what the right one is. should i learn to spell? yes. why havent i, well there are alot of excuses- but really, its because i am always trying to get more important things under controll, and spelling took a back burner.
i am trying. i give 110% to get things done right. but i just cant seem to. i blame some mistakes on people nagging me to death and making me twitch, so that i'm in such a fucking hurry that i cant take the extra 5 seconds to double check everything. but the rest is just me. i just cant help but screw things up, all the time. everything.

these things dont get better. soemtimes i just relax more- less pressure at work in genneral, or im in a different mood. and it dosnt bother me so much. but right now all i can think is, how am i supposed to grow up if i cant ever get anything right.

1 comment:

acturi said...

"Grown up" is a ficiticious state, anyway. It's this ficticious state when you will suddenly find yourself knowing exactly what you're doing, certain of your life, and ready to be a role model to everyone else.

No one ever mentions that "adults" are just as clueless as kids are. The only difference is that they've learned to fake it real good, to keep going despite not having a clue and look like they're sure.

Do people grow? Sure. People never stop growing. That's half hte fun.