things were not telling you about china

things we have not told you aobut china:

its dreary.
its very western.
we could not identify most of the thigns we ate.
we ate at a place where a dog wandered out of the kitchen. a very hairy dog, mind you.
people can do anythign w/ a cleaver. like shave chestnuts. yeah.
we were once on a bus and a gaggle of old women got on.. like 25 or more.
anything involving transportation is a wonderful adventure.
it is possible to get a job as a stick weilding, monkey chaser.
fried bananas w/ chocolate are phonominal.
lines are not important.
1st bank can check your account, cancle your card and put one in the mail in less than 3 min.
the previous can be achieved from a street corner in china.
it is not unheard of to go hiking in high heals, leather pants and or a mini skirt.
starbucks only carries half its menue.
mc donalds has a hotel.
you can go shoping in underground markets in abandoned rail stations.
womens underwear is easy to come by.
you can swing a very large sward arround in a public park and it is perfectly ok.
when you order duck you get they head and tung too.
meals eaten on top of mountains are incredibly wonderful.
middle aged chinese men will find it hilarious when you want "goat fucker" carved into a stamp.
and, you can bas all of your directions off a 6 storie statue of Mao.