expectations

Tim has been blogging about expectations, along the lines of characters and movies. But, i feel that he has only touched the iceberg that is expectations.
Expectations of school, relationships, jobs, vacations etc. wildly influence how we handle situations when they arise.
At some point i started making an effort to not have expectations of vacations, because i found that i was then pleasantly surprised by the outcome, because i had not been building up in my mind how it was going to be.
I have not followed this with anything else in life. which to an extent is good, it helps you create and move towards goals, and hopefully move away from things when they no longer work.
What we never talk about is how to grieve with the loss of an expectation.
sometimes it's as simple as not getting the grade you wanted and sometimes it's more serious life decisions that goes against the wishes of one spouse or the other.

How do we deal with this? How do we make the decision of what is right for us and how do we move on?