all things moving forward.

curiosity really does kill the cat.
morbid curiosity really.

long story short. things ended, i moved forward with my life. i assumed he moved on with his. suddenly he was back in my life. we have preceded to be friends. hung out regularly for a while, but that oo has fallen by the way side, between travel and other plans. not on purpose. it just has. this has happened with other firends too. everyone is busy in their own lives.

so tonight i read his blog. he is finally the person i knew he could be. the one that i saw sometimes that was trying to get out. now hes there. making friends, gaining back into old social groups. doing things by him self, going to events.

I am happy for him. hes a good person. even though i have moved forward. in ways i know have absolutely crushed him. he is still putting his best foot forward. I am happy where i am now and who i'm with and where my life is going. but still as i read, there is a pang of jealousy. mainly because hes doing thins now that he wouldn't do with me and flat out refused. and also there is some deep seated anger, that even though i have forgiven him, i am still angry about.[logically he is forgiven, emotionally, it still hurts.] things you could call small things, but that spoke loudly, and even now still hurt horribly.